


A Taste of Hell

by Tarlan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-07
Updated: 2005-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-21 03:12:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another planet, another group that want McKay for his brains...literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Taste of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> SGAHC Challenge: L.E asked for a fic starting with the line: _What exactly did you do this time?._ This is my attempt to answer that challenge :-)

"What exactly did you do this time?"

"I fail to understand why you always blame me whenever something goes wrong."

"Because, generally speaking, you _are_ to blame."

Rodney opened his mouth to deny it but John held up a finger. He rolled his eyes as Rodney snarled and plowed on regardless.

"Well, in this case, your inference that I am to blame for this latest debacle is totally incorrect."

"Then why are the nice people," John stopped to offer his winning smile in their general direction but gaining more glares in response, "Not so... nice any more."

"Perhaps you ought to ask Ronon. He was the one who broke the head honcho's arm."

John turned to level his toughest glare on Ronon but the man shrugged nonchalantly.

"He wanted to know how much we wanted for McKay. Said we had our own plans for him. When he wouldn't accept that..." Ronon trailed off with another noncommittal shrug.

"See! I knew you were to blame some how." John turned back, digging his finger into Rodney's chest as he spoke, emphasizing the _you_.

"I hardly see how it is my fault that these...savag... people," he corrected himself at Teyla's pointed look, "Find me irresistible."

"They want to eat him," added Ronon.

"What!" John and Rodney sputtered at the same time.

"Said he looked succulent."

"Succulent!" Rodney's voice pitched at a higher octave, and John was not certain if he was appalled or terrified. "What is it about this galaxy? The Wraith want to suck the life out of me and now this bunch of... _savages_ ," he glared at Teyla and saw that she had no complaints at the term now, "...Wants to cook me for Sunday lunch."

"I can see no way to get past the guards," Teyla added softly.

John cast a quick glance around at the angry faces of the spear-wielding guards.

"Well... we could give them McKay as a peace offering. Sit around the fire...chew the fat--"

"Colonel!"

"What!?"

Teyla and Rodney chorused simultaneously while Ronon simply ducked his head and grinned at the affronted look on both Teyla's and Rodney's faces.

"How about I just tell them we're going now." Ronon smirked, gaining annoyed glares from all three of his fellow team members.

"Sure, why don't you," John replied sarcastically and was taken aback when Ronon stood up and approached the head guard, muttering something to the man.

The guard's expression changed from intimidating to surprised and then to disgusted. He lowered his spear, urging the others to do likewise and stepped back to leave a gap in the circle of warriors surrounding them. Ronon moved past the guard, flicking a look over his shoulder and raising his eyebrows to indicate that they ought to be following. John noticed that Rodney was quick onto his feet for a change and moving swiftly to tuck in behind the mountain that was Ronon Dex. He pushed aside the momentary jealousy that Rodney saw Ronon as a better protector than him and, with a sigh, followed on behind.

As Rodney pressed the final control, the Stargate flared into life and they moved up the stone steps towards it, waiting for Teyla's IDC to be confirmed before stepping through. Rodney joined them, elbowing in to stand between Ronon and John as if he needed to feel the security of both soldiers surrounding him, with Teyla covering his back.

John turned to Ronon, talking over Rodney's head.

"Exactly what did you say to that guy to make him let us go?"

Ronon smiled and looked at Rodney slyly. "Said I took a bite out of him last week and he tasted terrible."

With that he stepped into the event horizon, forcing an affronted Rodney McKay to go with him.

Two days later, John was still smacking his lips and then grinning every time he looked at Rodney, much to Rodney's disgust.

THE END


End file.
